SWEAT Party @ HAPPY - 29 April 2006

Great DJ, Great Music unfortunately the crowd thinned out by about late 2ish which is even considered very early by SWEAT or Happy standards. Probably because it looks as if it wasn't that great a turnout. I arrived about 1230 and didnt need to queued up to get in. Nevertheless after paying 25 for the cover and went in, realise the dancefloor was not packed though the DJ had already been spinnin since midnight. the other parts of the pub were packed though. went out again with my barcadi (which was the standard free drink) and met a couple of friends for drinks @ tantric and came back again about 120 am. By this time the muscle marys were already topless at the stage and the dance floor was dancing.

Alex Taylor's house music is very ministry of sound with a kitsch and disco feel to it. I really love it. When the crowds thinned out to only a few, I was by the dance floor close to the deck really loving it. The DJ reached over and passed me his mix cd which i believe he gives to fans! Way to go alex!!! I came home and told my friends hehe :) This is the first time a DJ gave me something. Oh well, the DJ stephen Day spinning @ ministry of Sound Studio 54 did gave me a handshake :) cute too. oh cute DJs!!!!

SWEAT Party on 25th February 2006

This was not my first SWEAT Party but I thought it might be a good time to start writing about these parties, however frivolous some of you might think. I had also came to volunteer with AfA to distribute the safer sex kits which we gave to those leaving by the backdoor from 3- 4 pm.

The guest DJ was Kate Monroe, first lady of house in Australia, who was also at Nation Party Phuket. She can really spin a set of dancey tunes that makes the boys go wild (even until 3 am - the dance floor is packed packed packed and hot).

Kudos to her, Happy and AfA for organizing such a wonderful party. I spent most of my night on stage in front of the audience with my hipswaying and busy hands :) Not forgetting the cheap fake shades I bought that covers my eyes. Someone even asked me what was wrong with my eyes at the toilet and I bleated out a casualdrawl, " Tonight is shady night dear" before walking away. I'm an awful person. I know. Kill me. I'm looking forward to next month's SWEAT Party and the theme is UNIFORMS.

Can I still wear my high school white shorts and shirts with a pink tie? Or a police uniform complete with baton and handcuffs?

It's time to get creative!

Gays Invented Internet Dating! We should have our say!

The Straits Times article, dated Jan 17 2005, “Looking for love? More turning to the Internet Dating websites, say men outnumber the women by 3 to 1” caught my attention because it reveals the pervasiveness of the Internet in Singapore.

While Internet dating is not a new phenomenon, it shows how the straight population has caught on a trend first used by gays to solicit fetishes, sex and relationships among a host of other needs. As usual, it seems that gays are often the leaders of fashionable things. We have bucked the trend of recreational abusing video head cleaners aka poppers to get high, no guilt one night stands, dancing along to talentless DJ spinning monotonous beaty techno and crappy dance music, synthetic club drugs such as ecstasy; and men who uses women product (hello mextrosexual???)

The likely reason gays turn to the Internet includes anonymity and the lack of open and publicly accepted channels of finding an activity partner (Erhm, * coughs coughs* toilet sex is public but not considered morally acceptable by many).

The proliferation of “SDU-like” activities by various organizations, newspaper reports to encourage straight coupling (which leads to a million dollar white wedding marriage and a wrinkly burping toddler ten months later) is so abundant and in your face, one wonders why straights bother with Internet dating.

A cursory reading of the article reveals that the majority of these users are yuppies (read economically dependent, computer literate, no time for love, busy with career and enjoying perks of singlehood). In the gay world, someone like that is unlikely to want to commit himself or herself to just one person. It’s apparently different for our perverse straight cousins.

What I find highly amusing is the way the article re-phrase the underlying reasons for internet dating, “Contrary to what many may think, those who sign up are not desperate and ugly, just single and anxious for company.”

Does the writer seriously believe that single and anxious people are definitely not desperate and ugly?

I admit I’m being a bit bitchy but I guess they just want to soften the blow of reality. Hell, anyone who is desperate will take anything. Methinks the press is trying very hard to convince singles that it is okay to use the Internet. You are not desperate, but only anxious. Geddit?

The motivation for using the Internet to date is possibly quite different for gays. We are more efficient. We use it on rainy (stay at home and pose nude in front of a cam) days as well as sunny (“Hello? Anyone going to Fort Road later?) days. Chop Chop!

The article also pointed out that male members on such websites are turned on by long hair on a woman. (I can’t believe that straight men still fall for the silky long hair crap and I thought this is the 21st century where short is the new long hair. Straight single Ladies, Get that pair of scissors!)

Their No. 1 turn-off is sarcasm. (And here I thought men loved sarcastic women because it appears witty to them. Ironically it’s the reverse in gay circles. Cliché but true. When was the last time you told a sarcastic gay man to shut up as he makes you laugh your pants off. no pun intended.)

The women, on the other hand, want men who are bold and assertive, but are not interested if they are into body-piercing. (Another interesting revelation! I thought our women are bra burning feminists who wants to level the playing field in any sector. Who the fuck needs an assertive beer bellied couch potato boyfriend who commands you to do the housework while he shouts “GOAL” or some unspeakable obscenities every five minutes in front of a TV? … Or do they mean bold and assertive in the bedroom? Are our straight women finally learning to enjoy some lite S&M without the tattoos? I wonder why body piercing is a turn off for them when it’s a huge turn ON for most gay men… especially if it is found in certain sensitive body parts)

The article neglects to mention how many of these users abuse Internet dating by using it for hook ups. (Is using internet dating websites for casual sex considered an abuse? It seems that in the straight world, it is. In gay circles, abuse means something else which appeals to a certain group who likes that kind of pleasure. I also hope the token straight person who is reading my article will know what a hook up mean. Apparently, one of them thought I meant finding a fishing partner.)

But then, straight people don’t do anonymous sex right? At least in Singapore.

As usual, Straights Times ignored the existence of gays in their report. Blatant discrimination! Gays date/sleep around more since the advent of the Internet. We should have our story!

========

Jan 17, 2005
Looking for love? More turning to the Internet
Dating websites say men outnumber the women by 3 to 1

INTERNET dating is on the rise here, going by the growing membership at three of the most popular websites Singaporeans go to to look for love.

And most of those going online to search for an escort are men. Site managers said that for every woman who signs up, about three men do it.

At Singapore Cupid, one of the first such dating sites on the Net, about 72 per cent of its members are men.

The online agency was set up in 2002 by Singaporean Anne Goswami, 25, after she met her husband online.

She said her site has more than 20,000 members now. It had 15,000 in 2003 and 9,000 in 2002.

Another site, 1match1, which is barely 14 months old, has 12,000 members and its managing director, Mr Jason Ong, said about 1,000 people sign up every month.

The Social Development Unit website has drawn more than 800 postings since its inception last March. The unit itself has 3,000 members.

Contrary to what many may think, those who sign up are not desperate and ugly, just single and anxious for company.

More often than not, they are between 26 and 30 years old, holding a diploma or higher educational qualifications, and earning more than $25,000 a year, according to the more than 10,000 profiles Singapore Cupid's members have posted on the site.

The members create these thumb-nail sketches of themselves so others can contact them. They generally include their gender, age, education, income and what turns them on or off.

One turn-on for the website's male members is long hair on a woman, while their No. 1 turn-off is sarcasm. The women want men who are bold and assertive, but are not interested if they are into body-piercing.

Marketing executive Bertha Cheung is one of those who signed up at the site.

The 26-year-old said she turned to the Net because a club or pub is 'too noisy', and the men who seem interesting while one is high may turn out to be boring later.

'At least on the Internet, after sending a few e-mail messages, you have an idea of what the person is like.'

While she, like most of the women who sign up at such sites, is hoping that one of the friendships will blossom into love and marriage, it is not always why the men are there.

According to 1match1's Mr Ong, they are in it only for 'casual dating'.

In the United States, people spent more money last year on online dating sites than they did on online music and video, and adult entertainment sites, according to Jupiter Research.

The US-based research firm predicts that the American Internet dating market is set to grow from US$313 million (S$510 million) in revenue in 2002 to an estimated US$642 million by 2007.

But is Internet dating worth all this time and money? Does it produce results?

Businessman Tan Hai Tat, 28, certainly believes so. He met his 24-year-old girlfriend, a youth constituency officer, online early last year on Singapore Cupid. They have been dating seriously since last August.

Read more about Internet dating in tomorrow's issue of Digital Life that comes with The Straits Times.

Copyright © 2004 Singapore Press Holdings. All rights reserved. Privacy Statement & Condition of Access.

Surfing in Lancelin Beach, Perth

Lancelin Beach, one and a half hour drive away from Perth city, a beginner's safehaven for surfing.

My second surfing lesson, the first being a 4 hour course in Bali @ Hard Rock Cafe pool & Kuta Beach about one and a half years ago.

I booked my 2 days (aproximately 10 hours) lessons online with the AUSECO Learn to Surf, the only accredited surfing school in Lancelin. The course includes transport, free accomodation and meals at Keith, the house of the owner, where I would dorm with the other guys who were there to learn surfing.

We were a small group, including a Japanese girl and her norweigan classmate in perth; an american (who looks like a hick), a czech guy with plans to visit Asia including Thailand. He speaks good English and has been in Australia for some time. A Perthite couple and a surf chick returner from Dublin. Keith jokes about her since she has came back for more lessons with them.

Lancelin beach has white fine sands and gentle waves suitable for beginners.

Though I had already taken a 4 hour lesson in Bali, surfing is still a difficult sport for me. Imagine the amount of sea water I drank; and the number of times I fell out of my board. Nevertheless, the rush of trying to stood up or balancing, even for a few seconds, is enough to make all the hard work seem worthwhile.

Other surfing tips:

Read the beach before surfing. Look for reefs, ripcurls and study direction and strength of waves.

Paddling (including paddling with our body on board and upper board stretched upright, feet just a little over the end of the board), turning our surfboard around, body surf, handling our surfboard past an incoming wave, swimming back to the shore in case the waves drags us away, and the few steps to standing up on a surfboard. It sounds easy but practice practice practice!!!

Try standing up when with the left foot first when you feel the waves hitting the board. Then the right foot to the centre of the board, with hands still on the board to balance, bending the knees before fully standing upright.

***

I managed to stood up at least 60 percent of the time by the end of the lesson. I would need more practice for sure. Another surfing course maybe.

The camp was made cordial with the people whom I chatted to during the 2 short days.Everyone was polite. There was radio, TV, pool table and a hammock which I read and rested after lessons. They even catered for vegetarians (me!).

Now that I'm back on dry land, the itch to do surfing has come back again!

gay night clubs play crap music

I hate the dance music that gay night clubs play. To be completely honest, it’s crap. Not that dance music is crap but the music they play is crap.

I’m there only partly to feel a sense of infinity with the community; But besides a preference for people of the same gender and that’s about it isn’t it. I mean what else is there?

So I’m boycotting gay dance clubs that are insistent on playing crappy techno or trance music which is simply not my cup of tea. Or horribly mixed sets which does not seem to take into account the atmosphere of its patrons.

I guess if I’m rich. I would open my own pub and play the type of music I like. A mix of retro 80s, indie pop, alternative rock, instrumental jazz and cutting edge drum and bass.

Say goodbye to nightclubs! I shall spent my nights socialising at places i prefer!!!!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The Politically Incorrect Sudden Break Up Saga

There is no break-up worse than the break-up when everything seems to be going all right. It is difficult for the party to be dropped the bomb to accept the fact within a short time frame. Especially when everything appears okay. E.g. Both parties spent the last few nights together having dinners, sex and clubbing before the other leaves for a business trip and to suddenly receive a sudden break up call at 1 am in the morning to check a break-up email while he is still away.

If a relationship has been going on for some time and both parties have tried to talk and discuss what is wrong, then perhaps it will be easier to move on. Of course, that is not to say that it will be much easier, but at least, both parties can say that they have done their best.

What are the possible reasons that can trigger off a sudden break up?

When a sudden break up occurs, it can be the lack of communication. Otherwise, one party is oblivious to the thoughts of the other.

The excuses used can be vague when one party suddenly wants out. E.g. Lack of connection. which is a used- to death excuse that just means “no more feelings for you”. The irony of course is, finding out where the love or emotions have gone if nothing substantial has happened in a relationship to trigger that?

Love, is definitely not equivalent to passion or lust. It is grown out of being accustomed to each other, knowing the other person well and accepting their virtues and flaws. It is something that does not go away that easily.

Below are a few possible reasons people throw sudden break up excuses (which unfortunately they will vehemently deny)

1. Having Cold Feet. Everyone has doubts when it comes to relationships because it is a great deal of work and commitment to make it happen.

2. Sometimes, one of the party, often the more eager one, rushes into a relationship, driven by pure lust. Hence, the only way to deal with people who are extremely eager for relationships is to be wary of their intentions. Their behavioural patterns are painfully obvious, nihilistic and childish. They would suddenly want you to stop seeing other people (aka dating) or demand to see you everyday. Unfortunately, these are also the people who will dump you easily when another potential lover appears. The sad fact is that people who mistake love for lust will often, more than not, repeat their mistakes over and over again because they never really understand love and relationships.

3. Two - Timing. No one wants to be accused of being a two-timer because it reflects badly on their character. Sudden break-ups can occur when one party finds someone else whom he or she thinks is a much better person for them. Hence, they either continue to see both people, or throw a sudden break up so that they can see the other more “interesting” person. More often than not, they use filmsy excuses to justify themselves such as “sorry you are not my type” or “lack of connection” or “we don’t really fit well”

4. Sudden break-ups are more difficult to explain for the initiating party because they find it harder for them to justify their actions, hence, filmsy excuses. A common shameless technique they would use is to use past actions and explain it as “hints” that the relationship is not as rosy as it is. E.g. I gave you a hint when I said you couldn’t stay over for the weekend. Though of course, the reason given at that time was that he wanted more personal space. Sometimes, they would even use the break-up behaviour of the other party to justify themselves. E.g. The reason why I cannot be with you anymore is because you are irrational. You send me angry emails and you expect me to see you again? Sudden break up people are most of the time, trying to find as many ammunition as possible to disguise their lack of appropriate reasons.

5. And then there are the liars. Liars more often than not suddenly back-tracked or changed their statements, hoping to further confuse the person who is being dropped the bomb. They would reduce the time period of a relationship e.g. from 3 months to 2 months; say things like “but I did tell you that I went to the pub by myself while you were out of town” when they never did or “I chatted to someone online 8 months ago before I met you but I never met him. Now that we are officially over, he suddenly contacted me and I decided to see him. Look, I wasn’t cheating on you when we are together! You can choose to believe me or not but this NOT the reason why I want to break up with you” Liars sometimes fall short because its hard to keep track of their lies. At one time, often at the start of the relationship, they might say that they have cease all activities to see other people e.g. chatting online. But when it’s break-up time, they would say that they have been chatting with other people when the relationship was going on. Other e.g. include, You over-stayed the last time we met. You are suppose to go back on Friday but you wanted to stay until Monday morning. Though, at the point in time, he certainly mentioned that the other person can go back on Monday morning. You can have the DVD series if you want (on one phone call) and a sms at 5am in the morning, “Bring the DVD when I see you next time.“ It is impossible to argue with liars unless you have a recording machine by your side!

Sudden break-ups are hurtful and cause the other person to feel resentful and unwanted though normally, more often than not, it is the initiative person who is the problem.

Sudden break-ups can also cause the other party to have doubts about relationships. They will more often than not, be unable to believe what the other person has said before, which are most of the time, just lies. The only way, hence, is to look out for the tell-tale signs of sudden break up persons. They are often:

1. eager to enter into relationships and sometimes make empty promises in the very early part of the relationship e.g. shall we have a holiday this December?
2. judgmental
3. give filmsy reasons in an early part of the relationship for certain behaviours
4. demanding
5. not supportive or appears to be supportive “it’s not that I don’t like you to be active in volunteer work but you know it is going to take a long time to change perceptions of...” or “I am supportive but you need to be careful not to say the wrong things and get yourself into trouble”
6. always has their own interests in mind. It’s always “I have work to do sorry”, “let’s go to this restaurant instead of the vegetarian restaurant you suggested” ,“I’m sorry but I have a drink to go to on Friday night with my expat friends and another dinner on Saturday night with them again”

The sudden break-up is most difficult to stomach because more often than not, it exposes the other party as someone who has a problem with commitment!